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Revised 1993
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Diary of a Fat Jack Russell Aged 11 3/4 by Rachael Alonzo
Auction EndedRupert who is named after a bear, isn’t actually a bear but is an old fat dog, a Jack Russell in fact and his life has just taken on new meaning as he’s found Twitter! He has a weight problem, and he moans a lot and sometimes uses obscenities. His life is a continuous loop of staring at birds, eating, sleeping and farting that is until he joins Twitter and starts enjoying the new found attention he gets from his tweets. Because of his new found fame Rupert realises how boring his old life was and starts focusing on how he can create new ways to get likes, it has become his new pastime, one which sees him become a little too self-absorbed with the whole social media malarkey Not only does Rupert report on the comings and goings of his sedate life and his ongoing weight issue, he talks of his antics in his special serial killer patch in his garden where he buries his old toys. He often thinks he’s in a Robert De Niro film (as he loves the actor and the characters he has played) and uses quotes from De Niro films when describing what has happened in his day. Rupert takes lots of snoozes and records his daily treats in such a way so as to justify his so called weight loss regime which in all honesty is a disaster. He is sarcastic about the other dogs and cats who live in his neighbourhood and talks about them in a derogatory fashion. Rupert lives with his Mum and Dad and loves them very much. His diary is his view of the world we live in, it’s a light hearted funny account of how he spends his days and what goes on inside a dogs head.
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